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Relationship Replay - "Get Closer" with Jeff Chernin, PhD

"Get Closer" with Jeff Chernin, PhD

Gay Men's Life Lab is all about trying things out, and since we have a lot of new listeners in the last year, we’re experimenting with a new Relationship Replay Series which features some of our earliest episodes on all things relationships such as…

  • How to handle conflict

  • Communicating your feelings

  • Navigating relationship dynamics

  • How to identify your needs and get them met

If there’s one thing I’ve learned on my own relationship journey and in those of my clients, it’s that we’re always learning and we can all use a refresher now and then. So even if you’ve already heard these episodes, you might discover something new if you take another listen. We'll feature Relationship Replay episodes from time to time, but we'll also continue to have fresh content and new episodes for you every two weeks, so if you haven’t already, make sure you subscribe. Now, let’s go to Relationship School.


Episode 8 Replay "Get Closer" with Jeff Chernin, PhD Hey guys! This episode is all about improving communication patterns and dynamics in your relationships. I dive deep with L.A.-based psychotherapist and author, Dr. Jeff Chernin, about his must-read book, “Get Closer: A Gay Men’s Guide to Intimacy and Relationships.”

If you’re in a relationship, you want to be in one or you’re learning from one that just ended, this episode is for you. Tune in to hear Dr. Chernin and I talk about…

  • What to do when you and you’re man are in a “Pursuer-Withdrawer” pattern

  • How to balance out differences in power that show up around money, status

  • Taking responsibility for our part in unhealthy dynamics including infidelity

  • Setting your partner up for success to meet your needs

  • Identifying your “hidden goals” and “secondary gains” that block your intimacy

  • What contribution you’re making to your “not enoughness”

  • The benefits and advantages of being gay couples

  • How gay, bi and queer men are leaders of negotiating healthy sexual lives together

Learn more about Jeff Chernin’s work, his books and articles at and on Facebook.

Get your copy of Get Closer here and start learning how to have healthy relationships and more intimacy with your man.


Start planning your 2022 commitments and goals by downloading a free Core Life Dimensions Guide.

Learn more about me and how I help gay men like you live and love well by checking out the rest of my site and following me on Instagram and Facebook.

If you found this episode helpful, please "gay it forward" by subscribing and leaving a quick review and rating on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, or wherever you listen to podcasts. This helps more gay men find Gay Men’s Life Lab!

Thanks! Buck


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