Just writing that stings a bit. Thinking about saying it a bit more. Actually saying it? Ouch!
Let’s face it, asking for help sucks. It conjures up all sorts of negative stuff like being weak, needy…helpless. It implies we don’t know something. It suggests we’re not good at something. At the extreme, it makes us feel stupid.
No wonder help can feel like a four-letter word.
But I’m calling bullshit right here, right now. And not just regular bullshit. Like SERIOUS bullshit. And not just because I’m a counselor and coach who gets excited when my clients ask for help.
No, this is about my stand. More like my case. My case for help. Asking for it. MORE of it. A lot of it. All the help you need. And you need help. I’ll repeat. You. Need. Help. And NOT because you’re weak or needy or stupid or whatever BS someone told you. You need it because you’re alive. A living human being doing life. And this life shit is hard!
When was the last time you asked for help? The last time you said to someone important to you “hey, I’m not sure how to do this. Can you help me please?” Or “I’m just struggling. Are you willing to help me through this?”
If it’s been a while, consider why that is. What’s holding you back from asking? What do imagine would happen if you did ask for help? How would you feel about yourself?
If “I’d feel uncomfortable,” or “I should know the answer,” or “they’ll think less of me” came to mind, you’re not alone. So not alone. And if you said “I don’t have anyone to help me,” then you’re really not alone. Cue that BS factor again. When you’re told asking for help is wrong/bad/weak/shameful, it makes sense you’d design your life with little help around you.
That’s rough. It’s so hard to go through life believing you shouldn’t ask for your help, that help isn’t available or that you’ll be judged if you ask for it.
I’m here to tell you it doesn’t have to be that way. If you’re reading my blog, you already know this on some level. Even you haven’t reached out to schedule a session with me or you’re not sure it’s the right time, trust me, you know on some level that help is a good thing. And that’s a great thing!
Here's the deal - help is ultimately about learning. And we’re still learning, growing and developing as adults even though we forget that. The research from the growing field of adult development backs that up and proves that being grown requires us to keep learning new things. So how are you going learn what you need without some help?
That's why clients call me. They're stuck in some part of their lives, there's something they need to learn to get unstuck and they've realized they need help. And that's what I do. I help you learn, help you get unstuck, and help you get where you want to be. It's that simple.
Are you searching for more purpose & meaning? I can help you figure that out. Wanting better relationships? Coaching and counseling can help. Need help building your self-esteem? That’s my jam as your counselor.
Maybe you don’t need or want help from a professional. Or from me for that matter. But you probably need – or want - or could use – someone’s help. Help from your boyfriend, your coworker, your mom, your boss maybe?
I’ll leave you with a request. Will you consider something small—ish and within reason that you could use some help with and ask someone close to you for their help?
That’s it. Nothing more to do. You don’t even have to take the help. Just try asking for it. See how that feels. See what comes up.
I’ll be waiting over here to help if you get stuck. And if you're ready to ask me for help, let's talk!
Cheering you on,
Buck
